What if?

This morning on my way to work I started thinking, what if things had turned out differently? What if I had the courage to stand up for myself earlier on when things started to go down hill in my marriage? Would I be happy? Would I still end up alone?

These are the things that occupy my brain when I have time to think without distractions. The "what ifs" can consume me at times, and its hard to stop the thoughts from flooding my brain. I know that I am on my way to being a better person, a happier person, but there will always be the what ifs. Its hard to dismiss them. I know that things happen for a reason, and I am finally starting to realize that I am much better off by myself. I know this is true, but its hard to remember some days.

I still struggle with feeling lonely and having someone to chat with about all the little things. This may get easier too? I can only hope.

What if this was all meant to happen, to get to a better place? I know I deserve more than how I've been treated for the past 2 years, and I look forward to living it all out one day at a time =)