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Thursday, January 27, 2011

A Hair?

Last night while Alex was chatting me up about school and what not, he stops and says "Mom, I think I have my first hair on my chin right here" I look over and he is inspecting his chin with his fingers...hahaha. Then he says "You know that means I have to start shaving right?" OMG! I cannot even begin to think about that...yikes, he is growing up so fast!

It really got me thinking, that these days when I look at him, I cannot believe how much he has matured. He shows his maturity in different ways, like the hair he thinks he feels on his chin and wanting to start his own rock band. I sometimes wonder what he will be like in about 5 years, when he will have to start shaving his face and the possibility of him forming a band are so much more real. It started to make me a little sad to think about him like that.

You know they say there is this "thing" between mothers and sons and I have to say that I get that now. I feel like we have a special bond, and there are moments every now and then that I feel it even more. Sometimes, when he comes home from school, or somewhere else, he will come right in and give me a real tight squeeze hug, and I know he genuinely missed me. Now for those of you who know Alex, you know that he is not the most affectionate kid, and most of the time when he goes in for a hug, he will actually turn the other way and do this kind of "back in for a hug" thing. So, when he throws himself at me with arms open, I know its a special moment between him and I. I pray our bond never weakens and that we can always have these special moments with one another.

-Peace out

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Granola Bars

This past weekend, I took a stab at making my own granola bars from scratch. The thing is, Alex is super picky. One of things he does love are those Quaker chocolate chip granola bars, that are of course loaded with sugar and who knows what else? So, I thought, it cannot be hard to make then yummy and healthier, and I have to say they were a complete success! They turned out soo good, and Alex loves them too - score!!

Here's the recipe I used:

Granola Bars

2 1/4 cups organic rolled oats
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1 tsp cinnamon
1 cup unbleached wheat flour
1/2 cup craisins
1/2 cup chocolate chips
3/4 tsp sea salt
1/2 cup honey
1 egg beaten
3/4 cup all natural applesauce
2 tsp vanilla extract

Mix oats, brown sugar, cinnamon, flour, salt, craisins, and chocolate chips in large bowl. Then make a well in the center, and add the beaten egg, honey, applesauce, and vanilla. Mix well with hands or spoon.

Grease a 9x13 baking dish, and pat the mixture in nice and flat. Bake in preheated oven (350) for about 20-25 minutes, or until the edges get nice and brown, and here's the thing, the longer they cook the crunchier your bars will be, so keep an eye on them and take them out earlier if you like them more chewy.

Once you take them out, let the pan cool for about 5 min, then cut into desired shape. I scooped them out and let them cool on a rack, but they would probably be fine cooling in the pan too!

I just love these bars and have been eating them like crazy! I think I may try and experiment more next time too. I bet they would be good with some nuts and ground flaxseed, or even puffed rice cereal or somehting like that. Make them! You will thank me!

Peace out!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Wahhhhhh...

There are some days when all I want to say is wahhhhh, over and over again. Today is one of those days. Sometimes I wake up and I immediately know its going to be one of "those" days. The kind of days when my mind is consumed with negative thoughts and feelings of sadness, and no matter what I do I can't find my way out.

I have to say that I am usually pretty good at keeping my focus on the good things in my life, so when I start to feel like I'm slipping into a negative state, I can quickly change it. But, sometimes I just don't have the energy for it. Being a single Mom takes its toll after a while. The day to day tasks and doing it all alone. I am not only physically tired, but there is the emotional part of it too. So on "those" days, I have no choice but to give in and go there into the trenches of my mind and hope that it won't last long. My hope is that with time the consuming feelings of sadness go away or at least dwindle. I know I'm not the only person who deals with this sort of thing, and you know who you are.

So, today I'm hoping it won't last long, and that tomorrow when I wake up, I feel better and more like my old self, the one that is strong, happy and more optimistic about life.

Peace =)

Friday, January 21, 2011

Life Struggles

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about my life and how this past year and half was just so so horrible. The struggles of getting through day to day were so hard on me and really weighed me down. I never realized just how unhappy I was? When you are in a bad situation so deeply it can be consuming, and you cannot see how its affecting you. Eventually you start to lose yourself.

I definitely have lost myself this past year and am slowly trying to rebuild my life one day at a time. I also realized, that everywhere you look, people are struggling with something. The more I opened up to people about my struggles, the more people shared with me their own personal issues and struggles. I also believe that everyone is dealt a whopper of a struggle at some point in their lives. Whether its a death in the family, a separation, bankrupcy, or some other life altering event. I'm hoping that this one is my "big" struggle and that I can get through it in one piece and come out better on the other side. I think this thought process is what gets me through and makes me hopeful for better times.

I know alot of people that have been through some pretty bad life struggles and have made it! This gives me the inspiration to keep going. Recently, I was having a coversation with my Mom and I told her that I believe that people get what they deserve, and when they make bad choices they have live with that, and whatever that brings. She then said "but what about you?" This got me thinking....yeah what about me? May be my true state of happiness is still to be achieved, and that I have not yet met my final match? I don't know? But it is an interesting thing to ponder.

Life can throw you curve balls sometimes...be ready, always acknowledge with your instincts no matter how much it hurts, and always carry yourself with grace.

-peace out

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

I have a dream...

Last night, Aubree says to me "I know about the king..." At first I wasn't sure what the heck she was talking about, but then I realized that in the background on the news they were talking about Martin Luther King. So I said "Oh yeah? Who is he and what did he do?" She says in her cute little voice "He had a dream you know...he wanted the people to stop fighting eachothers because they were all different colors, some light and some dark and he wanted them all to be nice" Isn't that the cutest most simple way to put it?

If only things in life were that simple? I love hearing how the kids make sense of things. You can learn a lot from your kids if you just listen and let them express themselves =)

I also have a dream, and I hope that someday it may come true...until then let's just keep things in life as simple as possible, and never stop dreaming.

-Peace out!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Did I kick you?

Last night as I was getting the kids ready for bed, Aubree asks me "Momma when I was in your belly did I kick you?" She is so cute and soooo curious and loves to ask things like this. I told her "Yes, you kicked me all the time".

I notice with her that when she hears an answer she likes, she will keep going with the questions. So, the next was "Did I cry in your belly?" I was not sure how to answer that one, so I told her "No, babies never cry when they are inside their mommy, they are soo happy and cozy in there, that they have nothing to cry about." She seemed to like that answer too..haha

The next one killed me, she asked "Did I poop and pee inside your belly?" Ummmm, I had no clue what to tell her here? So I eventually said, no, babies don't do that until they come out of their Momma's belly =)

Haha...she is so cute and always has such thoughtful questions!

This coversation got me thinking about both pregnancies, and how awesome it was to have them growing inside me, and how happy I was at that time. It's amazing how fast the time goes and how you tend to forget all those little details. Today, I am going to take some time to think back when they both were born and how I felt on those days, and wonderful it was and how lucky I am to have the most amazing kids in the world! Today, I am truely blessed to be a Mom and am so thankful to have two happy healthy kids. They are my reason to go on with living life to its fullest and to strive for happiness every single day.

-Peace out!

Monday, January 17, 2011

In love...

With a new chip! While I was browsing the chip aisle at the grocery store, I kept thinking ugh, I wish there was a better chip for you that also tasted good. Then, I noticed Tostitoes new Artisan recipes chips. According to the package, they contain 100% all natural ingredients. So I bought the Roasted Garlic and Black Bean. When I got home I opened that bag instantly and I swear after my first bite I heard music. THEY ARE SOOOOO GOOD! I hate to admit that the bag is almost gone already =)

A Sweet Little Weekend

So, this past weekend was the first weekend I have been alone in the house without the kids. I was not sure how I would feel about it, but I have to say it was pretty sweet! After they left Saturday morning, Mom and I went shopping and were in no rush, which is so nice! I forgot what it is like to shop when you don't have a timeline. After I ate lunch with my parents, I went home and watched a movie in the afternoon...WHOA! I never get to watch an adult movie in the afternoon! It was lovely. I spent Saturday night drinking, eating and laughing with a couple girlfriends...SO MUCH FUN! I really need to do that more.

Sunday was a great day too, after a quick trip to the grocery store, I cooked! I made homeade chicken noodle soup, and was able to freeze a ton of it for lunches and quick dinners. The soup is almost 100% all natural too. I also made banana chocolate chip cookies, which should be renamed to: little banana cakes with chocolate, they are so YUMMM!

Overall, it was nice to relax and think about things without interruptions. I miss the kids terribly when I am not with them, but oh how it is nice to recharge again.

-peace out!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Vegan??

So...In my quest to eat healthier and all natural as much as possible, I keep coming across vegan recipes. I'm guessing because the vegan diet consists of mostly fruits, veggies, and grains. It got me thinking about trying some vegan recipes for things that I normally make with eggs and butter. My first attempt was Vegan Cranberry Orange Muffins. The result was interesting. Not super delicious, but not bad either. I think with a few modifications, the muffins could be really good and fairly healthy. Here's the recipe as is with my additional notes below:

Vegan Cranberry Orange Muffins

2 cups all natural unbleached flour
2/3 cup sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup fresh orange juice
1/2 cup canola oil
2 tsp orange zest
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/2 cup fresh chopped cranberries
1 cup pecans or walnuts (optional)

Mix all dry ingredients, then make a well in bowl and add juice, oil, zest, and vanilla.

Mix till half way moistened, then add cranberries and nuts, then fold gently till just mixed.

Fill muffin tin and bake for about 20 minutes, or until toothpick comes out clean!


Next time, I think I will add more sugar, or even may be 1/2 white and 1/2 brown. I also think I would add more orange zest, and may be even some apple sauce for a binder. My muffins came out moist, but they crumble easily, which is b/c there is no egg added. I will definitely try this one again till I perfect it!

Let me share one more foodie thing today as well. If you are looking for a good meat subsitution, try Gardenburger's Chipoltle veggie burgers, they are awesome with cheese on toast, and very healthy for you!

Friday, January 7, 2011

Feeling it...

I am definitely starting to "feel it", the overall sadness and hurt part of losing someone you care so much about. I find that on days when I feel it more and have a hard time snapping out of it, I turn to music. Hearing the right song at the right time can just send me into a better mood, or just make me feel ok with everything that is going on.

This happened this morning completely by mistake. I got into the car after dropping the kids off and started my ipod on shuffle for the 25 minute commute into the office. Then, as I started thinking about things, the perfect song came on and the lyrics were like a journal of my life these past few months. Here is is:

"Between the Lines"
By Sara Bareilles

Time to tell me the truth
To burden your mouth for what you say
No pieces of paper in the way
Cause I can't continue pretending to choose
These opposite sides on which we fall
The loving you laters if at all
No right minds could be wrong this many times

My memory is cruel
I'm queen of attention to details
Defending intentions if he fails
Until now, he told me her name
It sounded familiar in a way
I could have sworn I'd heard him say it ten thousand times
If only I had been listening

Leave unsaid unspoken
Eyes wide shut unopened
You and me
Always between the lines
Between the lines

I thought I thouoght I was ready to bleed
That we'd move from the shadows on the wall
And stand in the center of it all
Too late two choices to stay or to leave
Mine was so easy to uncover
He'd already left with the other
So I've learned to listen through silence

Leave unsaid unspoken
Eyes wide shut unopened
You and me be
You and me always be

I tell myself all the words he surely meant to say
I'll talk until the conversation doesn't stay
Wait for me I'm almost ready
When he meant let go

Leave unsaid unspoken
Eyes wide shut unopened
You and me
Always be
You and me
Always between the lines

"Always between the lines" is an interesting play of words and I like it, I think it sums things up pretty accurately.

Today I will be ok with knowing the truth, and it alone will help me move on.

-Peace out

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Working from Home

Working from has to be the best thing since sliced bread. I love that I can stay in my cozy clothes all day and that showering is optional. Although, I do usually shower just to wake up in the morning, but the whole preparing to go in the office activities are not needed. It's amamzing how much time I save when I don't have to put make-up on and look presentable. I also don't have to make a lunch and pack snacks for the day etc. It's a wonderful thing!

Another big bonus for me is that I get to make real food for breakfast and lunch instead of my on-the-go yogurt smoothie, or canned soup. This morning as I was working away at home I had a HUGE craving for good ole oatmeal, Quaker from scratch to be exact. Now let me say that my old way of eating a bowl of oatmeal would have inlcuded butter, milk and lots of white sugar to satisfy my sweet tooth. Today, I tried to re-think how I could make a delish bowl without the crap in it? So, I cooked the oatmeal, then added a bit of skim milk, cinnamon, honey, and a sliced banana, and you know what - it's awesome, and sooooo good, and healthy! I think another yummy addition would be to add some pure maple syrup, or dried cranberries.

So far this year, I'm doing well staying on my eating better kick, which in turn makes me a feel a little better every day.I will try and keep up with my recipe sharing, and will only share the successful ones!

And for my 2 favorite readers so far (you know who you are) thanks for the support, love you both!

Peace out!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Is Green Tea and Honey Magic?

I swear this is why I have not caught any of the sicknesses that are going around right now. After doing some reading, I found that not only is green tea packed with anti-oxidents, but it can be great for your skin! I also add about 1 tablespoon of honey to each cup because I have a wicked sweet tooth and am trying to cut the refined sugar as much as possible. For about the last month I have had 1-2 cups of green tea a day and so far I am free and clear of sickness!

I also did some research on the benfits of honey and as it turns out honey can be great for acne and acne scars. Who knew? You can actually rub it on your face and use it as a face mask. So because I have been battling some acne myself, I tried it, and so far so good. It does seem to make my face smoother. My routine is wash with the Clinique acne bar soap, then apply the honey for 15 minutes, then wash off with water and apply Clinique Dramatically Different moisturizer, and wallla! Smooth face!

Give it about another 4 weeks to see about breakouts, but I'm willing to keep it up to see if it is magical.

Peace out!

Eating Healthier

How do you eat healthy while also satisfying the tastes of kids?? I don't know the answer, but this year I am going to try very hard to eat better and make healthier food that my kids will enjoy too!

I have to say that one of my most favorite foods on the planet is good old homeade Mac and Cheese. I could rotate this meal every other day with Pizza, my other favorite food. But, we all know that mac and cheese is typically high in fat and carbs...=(

The good news is that I found a healthier recipe that includes a veggie in disguise, so stealth that even Alex ate it and loved it. Now that is a feat within itself!

I'll share the yummy recipe here:

Mac and Cheese with Winter Squash

1 pound of elbows or whatever pasta you like
1 12oz. package of frozen winter squash
3 cups fat free skim milk
10-12oz. of any type of cheese you like I prefer montery jack, sharp cheddar and havarti
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. powdered mustard
1/8 tsp. cayenne pepper
Black pepper to taste

Preheat the oven to 350 and coat a baking dish with canola spray.
Bring the pasta to a boil, cook, drain and transfer to baking dish.

Meanwhile, put the frozen squash and milk in a sauce pan and heat on medium low until the squash is incorporated. Then, turn the heat to medium till almost simmering and take off the heat. Add the cheeses, salt, pepper, cayenne, and mustard powder. Once cheese is melted, pour over the pasta and mix.

If you like toppings, then combine 2 tbsp. bread crumbs, 2tbsp. of parmesean cheese, and 1 tsp of olive oil and then sprinkle over top!

That's it! Super easy and delicious!

Peace out!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

This life as I know it...

So here I am trying to make my way through this life as I know it now. This year I am going to try and blog more, and share more things that I am passionate about in life. I'm glad to be leaving 2010 behind, it was a rough one, and I'm finally able to start looking to the future. With this blog I'm hoping to share my thoughts and ideas on parenting, cooking, music, and life in general.

I'd like to start with my 10 most important things I have learned this year:

1. Treat yourself with the same respect you give your loved ones.
2. Make time for yourself in this busy life.
3. Let go of the little things that don't really matter in the long run.
4. Love your kids as much as you can, time goes by way too fast.
5. Try and consume less, things don't really matter anyway, life and experiences do.
6. Surround yourself with people you respect and love.
7. No matter what the perception is, everyone is dealing with a difficult thing in their life.
8. Don't judge people, it's just a crappy thing to do, and most judgements end up being false.
9. Don't give your trust freely, trust is earned.
10. Laugh and have fun, life is too short- this may be the most important thing I learned so far!

Peace out.