Feeling it...

I am definitely starting to "feel it", the overall sadness and hurt part of losing someone you care so much about. I find that on days when I feel it more and have a hard time snapping out of it, I turn to music. Hearing the right song at the right time can just send me into a better mood, or just make me feel ok with everything that is going on.

This happened this morning completely by mistake. I got into the car after dropping the kids off and started my ipod on shuffle for the 25 minute commute into the office. Then, as I started thinking about things, the perfect song came on and the lyrics were like a journal of my life these past few months. Here is is:

"Between the Lines"
By Sara Bareilles

Time to tell me the truth
To burden your mouth for what you say
No pieces of paper in the way
Cause I can't continue pretending to choose
These opposite sides on which we fall
The loving you laters if at all
No right minds could be wrong this many times

My memory is cruel
I'm queen of attention to details
Defending intentions if he fails
Until now, he told me her name
It sounded familiar in a way
I could have sworn I'd heard him say it ten thousand times
If only I had been listening

Leave unsaid unspoken
Eyes wide shut unopened
You and me
Always between the lines
Between the lines

I thought I thouoght I was ready to bleed
That we'd move from the shadows on the wall
And stand in the center of it all
Too late two choices to stay or to leave
Mine was so easy to uncover
He'd already left with the other
So I've learned to listen through silence

Leave unsaid unspoken
Eyes wide shut unopened
You and me be
You and me always be

I tell myself all the words he surely meant to say
I'll talk until the conversation doesn't stay
Wait for me I'm almost ready
When he meant let go

Leave unsaid unspoken
Eyes wide shut unopened
You and me
Always be
You and me
Always between the lines

"Always between the lines" is an interesting play of words and I like it, I think it sums things up pretty accurately.

Today I will be ok with knowing the truth, and it alone will help me move on.

-Peace out